“Heaven on Earth is a choice you must make, not a place you must find.” Wayne Dyer
Those of you who follow me know that I have been saying, “I’m going through hard times.” I have shared my bipolar, having to stop working, and moving in with my parents. The other day I was posting on my Instagram and as I looked down and saw those words, I said to myself, “Again? I am so sick of seeing those words, and more importantly I am so sick of saying them. The truth is I’m not going through hard times; I’m living my life, and it’s going in the direction I am being called to follow, and making space for my true nature.
For at least 7 years I started reading and studying and learning from spiritual thought leaders and motivational speakers, like Gabby Bernstein and Kris Carr. When I stopped working I worked very hard on my recovery, and I continue to do so, but at the same time I was really delving into creating a life that’s always been in my head. I was living it on a small scale, but I couldn’t work full time as a teacher and go full steam ahead to this other life. So little by little I included these things in my life, with books, videos, webinars, workshops, quotes, and I practiced what I was learning. Now that I am not working, I have been able to fully devote myself to this world of motivating, connecting, learning, teaching, writing, and it feels fantastic! I had a breakthrough: I am where I am now because I am not working. So if I had to go that route to get here, every single step was worth it. My writing is being published, I am having daily moments of synchronicity, and I have been interacting with these spiritual leaders. I feel like I’m entering their circle and living my true nature.
Through Gabby Bernstein I discovered kundalini yoga meditation. It drops me so deep into another place; it is transcendent. My first time doing this meditation I had a vision pop up as I was chanting. It was two huge heavy cement doors. They opened up to the outside at the same time. I looked into the darkness, and I said I am walking through the doors. Since then so much has happened. I have people requesting to follow my Instagram every day. I went from 70 to 100 in a week. I’m not about numbers, and I will only allow someone to follow me that I feel a connection with. Some are authors, public figures, motivational speakers, and spiritual gangsters like myself;) I believe I am putting an energy out into my Instagram and the world that is attracting like minded people. In March I am going to see Deepak Chopra and meet him, yet another step in my new life.
If you find yourself in a place you don’t want to be, perhaps there is a reason for it. In the early stages of climbing this mountain I struggled so badly. I cried, I screamed, I beat my pillow, I made bad choices, and I thought my life was never going to get better. But through it all I stayed grateful for what I did have in my life. Some days I really hurt, but I found 5 things to be grateful for each night before bed. I trusted that there was a reason for all this turmoil. I knew I just had to keep going. So if you are struggling, please know that things can get better. Try to find things to be grateful for every day.
Miracles are happening to me every day. According to A Course in Miracles, a miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love, or epiphanies or realizations about life. A miracle is realizing that having to stop working is not a tragedy; it is an opportunity to follow my true calling. Take some time to slow down and look for your miracles.