Full Circle Moment: I got married in 1998. At the time, I was a huge Natalie Merchant fan; I even saw her when she was in the band 10,000 maniacs. After the rehearsal dinner I gave my parents a copy of her cd Ophelia. I told them to listen to track 11, Kind and Generous. It was basically a thank you for everything they have ever done for me, whether financially or emotionally. My mother cried.
Now, I am divorced and struggling financially. My parents have graciously decided to build onto their home so my daughter and myself will have a nice place to live, since I can’t stay where I am much longer 😦 I am so grateful for their generosity, but I am also sad because I love my home. I will be moving to a new town about 30 minutes away. Their house is literally in the woods. Currently, I live in a luxury apartment complex, which I can no longer afford; I drained most of my retirement money to stay here until the addition is completed, but it looks like the builder is going to take forever; therefore I may have to move into their house until my apartment is ready. The idea of that stresses me out. My mom and dad, mostly my mom, are triggers for me and I can only take them in small doses. But I won’t have any choice if that happens. Hopefully it wont.
Tuesday night in yoga class, which cost 5 dollars, this song came on the teacher’s playlist as I lay on my mat in savasna. As soon as I heard it, I smiled and sang along to myself. Then I thought, here I am again. I am in a place where I am grateful for my parents and all they are willing to do for me. Sometimes when I visit, my dad will slip me a 50 and my mom mails me cash in the mail in cards. They are very good with their money and my dad has investments which help them live a life they love. But most of all they are willing to do whatever they can to help me. Originally, I was going to move into my marital home and my ex was going to move out. That plan began to get toxic months before it was going to happen. We were fighting and there was just no way I could have him intertwined in my life again.
So here are my parents, once again, being kind and generous. I think I may send them the video and thank them again for then and now and the future. I am blessed and lucky to have them in my life, and even more fortunate that they are going to help me live in a nice safe place. I will have my own entrance and a little deck. It is very peaceful there, and I know in time I will adjust, but it’s so stressful to think about all the aspects of moving and adjusting to a new environment. In addition, I still have to tell my daughter; I am so nervous and afraid that she will be upset; she is 16. She will still live in both towns, because her father’s house and her school are not changing. It’s just the time with me will be in the new place. There will be new friends, like deer and foxes and turkeys that come up to the windows; my cat is going to freak! lol
They have been kind and generous all of my life; and that has taught me to be kind and generous too. Another gift.
I guess Natalie is reminding me of how lucky I am and to appreciate all of it.
Be kind and generous,